I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize