It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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