party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Randomize
