i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
