He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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