dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
