HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Randomize
