I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Randomize
