Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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