omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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