we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
jump out the window naked night went bad
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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