i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
