Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
