i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize