he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
