i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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