Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
