i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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