Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
