We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
He keeps bees of course he's weird
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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