His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
