how hairy? two words: wookie tits
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
