R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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