You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Define "chronic" masturbator.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize