Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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