my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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