I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
