i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
