True but thats because hes a fetus.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize