so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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