we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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