she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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