remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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