At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Randomize
