when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
