The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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