We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize