look no pants
No stitches, just platelets and will power
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
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