Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
