Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
