Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
