I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
