apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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