Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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