you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
