is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
