I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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