if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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