drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize