I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
