The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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