Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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