After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
