Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
