Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I don't think brook has ever known best
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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