I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I got inside last night via doggy door
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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