we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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