I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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