he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
