Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
