you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
