would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
