At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
